Back

Here are some pictures I took while on my photo walk.

It was exactly what I needed.

But now I’m back at school; back to dining halls, wearing flip flops in the shower and having a roommate. 

At least it’s getting warmer.

Rough

Today was rough.

There’s a lot on my mind and there’s a lot going on.

I need to find a job. Now.

My dad was crying today.

I haven’t done any of my spring break homework. Now I need to crank out SuperLiz to get it all done.

My depressed ex boyfriend was telling me how he feels about life.

I found out the guy I’ve been trying not to be attracted to was talking about wanting to talk to me.

My mom’s sad and cries because she’s trying to better an old woman’s life and people don’t cooperate.

Whenever I’m sad or angry, I visibly show it. I shut people out and don’t smile, etc. 

Therefore, I’m trying something new; a “smile even though your heart is breaking” kind of thing. If I’m down, nobody needs to know unless I tell them. Passerby will just believe I'm happy as a clam. I have to try and stay happy and optimistic on the outside. 

And in turn, hopefully that’ll tweak the way I’m feeling on the inside as well. Which is always a good thing.

I want to be seen as Liz the happy or Liz the cheerful. Not Liz the moody, scary, creep.

I need to go out and take pictures tomorrow.

To relax and such.

What do you do to relax? To take your mind off of everything? I'd love some suggestions.

And until then, here's a picture. I'm imagining myself here right now.

I took this on our last trip to Ohio. I think it's very calming.

Let's Focus On...

I'm really into two things right now.

1. Goodwill 

Being a broke college student, anything being sold at a low price is greatly appreciated. Therefore, Goodwill is appreciation station. People donate whatever they don’t want, and Goodwill will shelve it and sell everything back for much cheaper than it was originally sold for.

You will find the stereotypical thrift store commodities: flower-print turtlenecks, corduroy ankle-length skirts, sequined vests, denim anything, and all of these can be found with or without shoulder pads. But if you look hard enough, you will find those gem items that you could find on the clearance rack at any high-priced store, such as American Eagle Outfitters, Anne Taylor, Charlotte Russe, and Banana Republic. The catch is that they’re all in the price range from $3 to $6. Total deal.

I’ve recently scoured the racks of local Goodwill stores and have found so many deals. Items that would’ve been priced at $25 I found for $5. I’ve added about so many new editions to my closet, and it all cost me so much less than it would have if I had bought it all at the original stores for their original prices.

So add this store to your list of stops the next time you go running errands. I guarantee it’ll be worth it. Find one in your area here!

2. Adele

For the past few days, she’s all I’ve been able to listen to. Her voice is so perfect, her lyrics are poetic and meaninfgul, the music as a whole is so relaxing. 

You’ve heard her on the radio with “Chasing Pavements” and her new “Rolling in the Deep”. 

Adele is so talented and inspiring; she’s already won 2 grammys and she’s only 22 years old. Can you smell success? I can.

One of my favorites by this fantastic woman, “Make You Feel My Love”. Enjoy!

Distance

I went on a walk with one of my oldest friends, Lindsey. We’re both on spring break right now and we wanted to catch up by walking down to the local ice cream vendor. 

It’s hard being at separate colleges from your best friends. I constantly worry that our bonds will slowly get weaker until they fray to nothing.

But times like these make me realize that nothing’s happened to our bond yet, and nothing probably ever will. When I walked up to her front door, she opened it before I even walked up the steps and we greeted each other as if we had seen each other yesterday and the day before; like nothing had changed. The same goes for how we talked. We discussed our classes, the feat of trying to find summer jobs, our families, and the fact that middle aged men were stopping to get ice cream at noon on a weekday. We vented, laughed, and cried (from laughing too hard). We also spilled ice cream. All over the table.

I find comfort in these times when I realize that there are people in my life who are staying in it, no matter the distance between us.

Have you ever been scared that you were going to lose someone in your life? Because of the distance between you two?

And how do you keep in touch with old friends? 

The Deer

I went running today at the local forest preserve. And to start out, it wasn’t such a pleasant experience. I’ve been breaking my workout routine and haven’t been doing anything for a few days, so I was out of step. My fingers were cold, I was feeling all bloated, my back was throbbing, and I had a developing headache. 

But every stride was one closer to making my way around the 4 mile long path, and with summer fast approaching, I knew I needed to run every inch of those 4 miles.

(Today was one of those days where I wasn’t feeling okay with myself.)

All of the sudden, I had to stop, because there, 15 feet away, was a deer. She was just standing there, eating. She heard me stop and looked up at me, and we stared at each other for a few seconds. 

I remember reading about how you should never keep eye contact with a strange dog or bear because they’ll run and attack you, but I didn’t know if that also applied to deer. I was silently panicking, not knowing if the deer would break out in a vicious assault.

I was perfectly fine.

She actually just put her head back down to keep eating, seeming to forget that I was still in her presence. And I watched her for a few more minutes, wondering how long it would take until I finally scared her off. But I never did, and I left her right where I found her. 

I always consider wild-animal-sightings as being really special and magical; I was the equivalent of starstruck, in a way. 

It was like I had just seen Robert Pattinson at the forest preserve. Looking like a female deer. Eating foliage.

And as I was about to drag myself into a jog again, I realized that I was wasting my time. Sure, I want to get rid of the pudge that’s accumulated on my body, but I don’t want to kill myself over it. I had just seen a deer (which, again, I deem as super exciting) and I enjoyed that. I should be enjoying what I’m doing. Getting fit should be fun, and if one day I’m not feeling it, then no big deal, just take things slow. The whole time I was running, I was focusing on ignoring pain and how much longer I had until the end. I want to be able to think about how good I feel when I work out. 

So, I walked the rest of the way, and focused on the trees, the birds, the plants, the water. I stopped a few more times along the way, to watch the stream moving, to watch ducks cleaning themselves.

We shouldn’t be doing things in life if we aren’t happy about it. Sure, we might have to complete a task for our job that we don’t like, and that’s fine, it’s all part of what we signed up for. But if we don’t even like our job as a whole, then that’s where we’ve got the problem. 

Do things that make you happy. 

Give yourself permission.

Go find a deer.